Life After Divorce: 12 Tips for Emotional Independence

Once a divorce has been finalized, it is common to feel mixed emotions ranging from regret to relief, sorrow to elation, and everything in between. The hardest part of the process may be over but learning to live as a single person can be a big adjustment. 

Some are surprised to find they get along better with their former spouse after the divorce, while for others, tensions remain high. One of the biggest barriers to moving on is when exes continue unhealthy patterns of behavior. Old habits can be tough to break, but these 12 tips can help you cope emotionally and regain independence.

  1. If you are in contact with your former spouse, do so only when truly necessary. Some reach out to their ex, seeking familiarity in an unfamiliar situation, but that can hinder a person’s ability to move forward.
  2. Keep such interactions brief, polite, and business-like. Focus on what needs to be done and don’t respond to emotional triggers in emails, texts or voicemails. 
  3. Don’t ask a former spouse for favors or rely on them for assistance. If it’s something you cannot do yourself, find someone else to help you. It’s important to take responsibility for your own life.
  4. Get plenty of rest and take care of your mind, body, and spirit. 
  5. Remember that healing takes time. Rather than viewing the divorce as a failure, love and be patient with yourself. 
  6. Know that it’s OK to continue grieving the loss of the marriage.
  7. Surround yourself with family and friends who care about you. Ask them for help if you need it.
  8. Do something you enjoy at least once a week—dive into a new hobby or pamper yourself. 
  9. Adopt a “post-traumatic growth” mindset. You’ve gone through a very difficult experience, and your new life may be challenging, but it is also an opportunity to learn and grow.
  10. Don’t let the divorce define you. A positive mental attitude will make a huge difference in how happy you will be in this new stage of your life. 
  11. Reason and be open to reason. 
  12. Seek or continue counseling. Even after the legal process is behind you, a counselor continues to be an important resource.

Remember that your attorney is still available, too–don’t hesitate to reach out if questions or problems arise.

With a combined 30 years in family law, the attorneys at Jones Family Law Group, LLC, will provide the legal guidance you need. For questions or to schedule a confidential consultation, contact us today.