Do you have a co-parent who regularly rants? Angry texts and tearful telephone calls are upsetting, and it’s easy to feel trapped in exhausting old patterns with your former spouse.
Fighting is intimate, says psychotherapist and divorce expert Kate Scharff, and that’s important to keep in mind. As she points out in her article End the Drama and Find Peace: New Rules for Dealing With an Over Emotional Ex, provocative messages may mean your ex is reluctant to let go and is trying to keep you close and engaged.
In these situations, less communication is better. Here’s how to reduce the drama and focus on what’s important.
This isn’t about aggravating your ex by leaving them in the dark, however. Scharff suggests that you let them know up front you will respond to non-emergency child-related messages within a reasonable timeframe — say, 24 hours.
Once you’ve sidestepped a lot of emotionally draining back-and-forth, you can concentrate on how best to reply. Next week, I’ll share how to avoid common mistakes, such as defensiveness and sarcasm, and opt for drama-free, on-topic answers.
With a combined 30 years in family law, the attorneys at Jones Family Law Group, LLC, will provide the legal guidance you need. For questions or to schedule a confidential consultation, contact us.
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